Sunday, December 19, 2004


today is my last day at Mt Olive. I love all of you and will miss you so much. All of my friends in the austin area, we will need to keep in touch. tomorrow we move.
on a side note, I'm looking for a rocking chair to strap down to the top of the Uhaul just to make a good impression for the new neighbors. so let me know if you got the hook-up.
I think stress is really getting to alicia and i. it will be really good when we finally get settled in and everything has calmed down. we can both use some Z's.

i will be out of pocket for awhile but i will try to check in as much as possible. while i'm talking about the greatest friends in the world, Josh and Shannon, you are. thanks for helping us move. this will be the 5th time we have moved in 3 and half years and i think you have been helping for each one. clim and pete, maybe next time.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Miracle Birth

this has grabbed my by the throat and it is amazing but they found the baby cut from it's mother's womb alive.
to put this in perspective, if the baby had been cut out of this mother with intent to end the babies life, if they had permission from mom everything would have been perfectly legal.
Maybe it's not right to talk about that when there is such a horrible tragedy of this mom losing her life. but everyday babies are losing their lives and because it's sterile and in a doctor's office, it's all A-OK.
I say miracle birth because it is amazing that this baby lived through this ordeal and because every baby and every human is a miracle of life. As I rejoice and wonder over this miracle birth and grieved by the brutal death of a mom, i am also disgusted by the many deaths that take place because other babies are unwanted. What a horrible reason to take a life. Revenge, Anger, Profit, Jealousy, Lust, Rage, any other reason you can think of is not as bad as making a decision to end a life because of inconvenience. How cold and uncaring. How selfish.

And even then, I know there is forgiveness even for this act. And i know how many young people, teenagers even, face the scariest decision and they cannot fathom what to do. I also know all to well that I am no better than someone that would do that. But all of those things do not take away from the injustice of Abortion. In the Old Testament, people would pass their children through the flame. They were sacrificing their children to Molech by placing their babies in an Idol/Altar to be burned alive. They did this so that they could have a plentiful harvest. Money. that's what it boils down to. It really ticked God off. It broke his heart. What is the difference between Passing Your Children Through the Flame and Having a Procedure to Get Rid of A Problem? Don't you think the OT people had their reasoning that made it ok? Doesn't the thought of those poor babies burning alive make you disgusted?
Where is your disgust at The Procedure? It probably wasn't PC to criticize the whole Molech thing either. Don't many abortions revolve around money also, Money for the doctors, Money that would be lost if the baby was carried to full term.
You have money, you have status. Isn't abortion also about status? status with your family. status with your friends. not the status you gain by having an abortion, but the status you would have lost otherwise.
People have said it's okay because whatever is inside of the "mom" isn't a human yet. I;m not going to get into the arguement of yes or no. but only ask this question of someone considering THE PROCEDURE, are you willing to risk murder if your'e wrong.

this may be harsh and insensitive. but get over yourself. it's not about you. life is not about you. the world is not all about you. there is right and wrong in this world and your feelings don't change that fact.

Let Him Roll

It was white port that put that look in his eye,
Grown men get when they need to cry.
We sat down on the curb to rest,
And his head just fell down on his chest.

He says: "Every single day it gets,
"Just a little bit harder to handle and yet. . ."
-Guy Clark

I've been walking around today with that look in my eye. Maybe it was staying up too late talking with friends or maybe it is leaving on Monday. I don't know. but there is that hollow feeling I have that makes me nervous, apathetic and lonely.
People ask about the move and they get the RIGHT answer. "Oh we're real blessed to have such great jobs and it's really neat to be moving into a house. It's amazing the way things all fall into place" but sometimes you just get worried. What if everything falls apart. what if Sugarland is a disaster and we hate our jobs or if i'm horrible at everything.
I think when i was in the midst of studying for all of the exams, there wasn't time to contemplate or worry and i was so relient on God that it kept me close to him. but now i have time to think and the ability to take control back and like usual it gets harder to handle. I am looking for the "and yet". the bridge back to faith and reassurance but I don't know that I really want it. It seems so often that the bridge comes with a condition attached to it. that God wants "this" in exchange for "that". I don't know what the "this" is. It's easier when you are involved in some overt sin rather than just drifting away from closeness. well, it's not really easier but it is definitely more apparent, easier to see what you are supposed to do to get things right. for the semanarians reading, i know that "we" do not make things right but that God has made things right... and maybe that is truly important, more than just a get your doctrine straight importance. maybe it is important to me, right now, that God has made things right. that even though He carried me through all of those horrid exams and I promptly went from reliance to disinterest, that Christ follows me.
that he pursues me. even knew that I would do that and still helped me. that he loves me just as much now as when he was so available during those "reliant" times.

why do we act like this whole Faith thing is easy? we are always quick to act like we have it figured out. Always quick to pretend that we have it all together and that if you don't have it all together that you are weak in your faith. I think that part of having faith like a child is believing in a God that you haven't figured out. nobody understands less and asks more questions than a little kid and the leaders in the church today show little of this, I am including pastors, youth workers and myself in this. When was the last time you heard a spiritual leader truly confess and repent? what pride and arrogance we have developed that makes a bumper sticker "christians aren't perfect just forgiven" necessary? why is that sticker necessary, because our actions as a church show the opposite. our attitudes reflect a holy Christian not a crucified Christ and i am just as guilty of it. I am still wrestling with this move and I am scared of losing the friendships that i have with fellow youth workers and it sucks leaving students. I am going to miss lunches at Gattis and slushes at Sonic. I have tried to steel myself against that and in a way tried to block out those feelings but I can't do that and don't want to.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Conservative Christmas

courtesy of Evil Conservatives Industries...
first get the tune of "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" in your head

So this is Christmas

Conservatives cry
Cause children are happy
And we want them to die

War mongering Christmas
We all had some fun
Bombing all the A-rabs
And starving their young

Conservative Christmas
Drive my SUV
Right over the homeless
Speed bump them with glee

Conservative Christmas
What a happy day
‘Cause we just stole 4 million
From your 401k’s

An intolerant Christmas
On the colored we spit
And beat them for crimes that
They did not commit

Conservative Christmas
Have a happy new year
Unless you’re a red man
Black, yellow or queer

There’s a new Christmas anthem
On this holiday
For all those who hate us
No matter what we say

A Conservative Christmas
Have a great holiday
Unless of course you’re a liberal
Or a conservative gay

A Conservative Christmas
And a write off next year
Pray for a bull market
And go kill a deer

We’re war mongers
Love no longer
White race stronger
Blah Blah Blah Blahhhhh

listening to this driving down Mopac, almost wet my pants and wrecked the car. fortunately i had an extra pair of pants in the trunk. So here's to more kids dying and a bull market...Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

sitting on your blogs

hated to kick ya off the links clim, pedro and joe but no show... no dough. If i see posts in the future i will link back but until then consider yourself served. I'm in a ghetto mood cuz I got my pimp name: Reverend Maroney Large. so you tricks who don't post new stuff beware.
I started this off with a 3 amigos reference that i would like to pick up on before i start jawin or sellin woof tickets - ok i'm done with that -
3 amigos... vhs... renting a vcr... air popped popcorn with real butter... going to McDonalds was a special once a month treat, and you didn't even get a happy meal or an ice cream cone... large drinks were 20 ounces... free refills in your squirt bottles at Stop and Go that were worth the extra 10 minutes to walk past the Shamrock station... riding in my dad's 65 Chevy stepside that was green and primer red, with an urban assault vehicle on the bumper and CCR in the 8 track... spending May through August in cut-offs without shoes or shirt except for sunday when shoes were required... dipping your cookies into your punch at VBS and getting a candy taped to your artwork instead of some $4 toy that they give away now... singing to Willie Nelson, Kenny Rogers, The Cars, Chicago, and Jimmy Buffet Records with my sister to our whole family for their holiday entertainment... my grandma Happy's Mr. and Mrs. Clause that have red hair painted to look like them... that fiber glass angel hair that you shouldn't eat... Nighty-Nights... Christmas Eve services followed by a raucous time at the Garza's... Hot chocolate and breakfast casserole... not getting lottery Scratch Off Tickets in my Christmas stocking
I'm dreaming of a White (trash) Christmas
and i was in a "..." kind of mood

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

What Message do we send?

sharp sign
Originally uploaded by Texas Cooking.
What is the most important thing we can share with the world? and WHEN we warn people about SIN does it come off as SIN is SHARP and will cut you or that the bridge is out up ahead of you. when WE do THIS, I think people do see CHRISTIANS as the painful (SHARP SIGN) ones and if they avoid us, they can avoid GUILT.

free at last

I am finally done with my tests! passed the series 66 yesterday and it is a brand new day! got a lot of things settled with my new job, the when's, the where's and the how much's. definitely a load off my mind. Malin and ALicia have been great throughout this thing and I know a ton of people have been praying for me! I do feel bad for my wilf.
(my papa -pronounced pawpaw- would always write his cards to Happy (g-ma) "to my wonderful wilf"...still not sure why...but the family grew to expect it every Christmas. till one year he actually spelled it right and everybody was ticked. also, why is it that old people always have to read every card out loud? not just the Hallmark stuff either, the real personal junk that you just want them to hear. maybe it goes back to not having tv. you know, the whole family gathered around the radio listening to FDR give his firesides... or maybe they just don't get that much attention so they have to soak it in when they have it. but i digress)
My wilf has had to pack up all our junk -and I do mean junk- and do all the cleaning and taking care of Malin while getting things set up in Sugarland, did I mention having to put up with me while I have been studying? I have not been the happiest camper these 3 weeks. all this while not complaining. Who does all this? I think I married some kind of fembot. what else would explain how she puts up with me? I know this is too common of a theme, but seriously how and why she does it, I'll never know. Maybe she plans on killing me with the poison gas or the whole machine gun thing...

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

what doesn't cause infertility?

when i was in college the big thing was that mountain dew caused a low sperm count - as if in college you wanted a high count right?
that would be like playing russian roulette and saying "hey, can i put another bullet in the gun?"
I was like the Mountain Dew king. Tastes Great. Less Impregnating.

Now that I'm married I guess the tables are turned and believe it or not low fertility is not a good thing anymore. so I was impressed to find two infertility stories right next to each other.
Just out, Use of Cell Phones reduces the number of your little buddies by a third. that's a lot of little buddies. plus the ones that do survive, are all jacked up and spastic, like their doing the African Anteater Dance at a high school prom. Something about how the phone sitting in your pocket while in standby mode.
Even more recently released, laptops are burning your buddies even faster - literally. this little bit of news has to do with how guys naturally sit - legs spread far apart. you know how girls always gripe about how much room guys take to sit down? now we have the perfect excuse. when a guy sits with his legs close together (a position that most laptop users take) this increases the scrote temp by like 2.1 degrees C but when a laptop is involved it goes up to like 2.6 on the left and 2.8 on the right.
I guess it's not a good idea to generate radio-active waves near your genitals after all. huh.
moral of this story: whenever you think you have the worst job in the world, think of the guy who has to measure scrote temperature.

right and left.

pizzle the tizzle

2 down. took the series 7 test yesterday and that thing was a monster. it was 6 hourse long not counting a lunch break.
packed 85 hours of studying into 1 week.
who knew that getting certified to sell stocks and bonds would be so difficult? i'm sitting here now with a migraine. not your usual run of the mill ones either. like having cold shakes and vomit kind of migraine. don't want to go home because i only have this week and the next at mt. olive and i've been taking vacation days to study...

i needed to say though that this testing experience has been one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. definitely the most spiritual/non-spiritual environment experience. i have had to so totally rely on God (not like oh i want to grow in my faith kinda thing but dear Lord there's just no way without you)
there's been times when i am ready to give up and this peace comes over me and i know i can continue. my greatest spiritual break-through moment in 10 years happened in an IHOP bathroom when i realized that God really does want to use His strength to help me and that if he is willing to forgive ME and even put up with me in heaven for eternity - then what else does he want to do in my life? He is answering all kinds of crazy prayers just to show me that He is there. ALicia had a dream that Malin relayed to me that angels were going to help me during the test and as i sat down to take the group 1 there was a poster of angels right above where i wa sitting. in this completely secular environment. we couldn't afford to buy the last book and thought we were going to have to borrow the money, instead a friend had just taken the test and lent it to me yesterday.

all kind of other things that i am in too much pain to mention (head throbbing) but i couldn't not say this. thank you God. forgive for not taking more chances trusting in you to hold me up.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Potatoes, Priests and Eric Clapton

there is an amazing testimony of God's mercy in the midst of struggles on Andrew Jones' blog - Tall Skinny Kiwi
His brother and dad died within a week of each other and he is in Australia for the funeral with his family. I could not read it without being touched by the Holy Spirit and tears rolling down my face. if you haven't checked out his blog, you need to. if nothing else, please pray for andrew and his family in their grief

Monday, November 29, 2004

I'm Sizzlean

my favorite character in Winnie the Pooh is that Mole that always whistles when he-phew-talks... i know how that mole feels.
I have been in the fetal postion curled around my Group 1 Insurance Study book since Wednesday night. yes, all through thanksgiving.
yes. all through the football games. all through the family visits. while Alicia was touring potential homes, I was reading away and highlighting words and sentances and paragraphs about IRA's and variable annuities and guaranteed renewals.

as of 2:30 today i popped my little mole head out of the ground and blinked my little mole eyes and an old lady named Sheryl was there and she said I passed. then she fingerprinted me like some felon, patted me on the rump and sent me on my way.

the good news? I get to start all over tonight studying for my series 6 which is part 1 of certification with the NASD (national association of swamp diggers i think)
the great news? this test is twice as long (5 hours) and twice as hard! Yeah!
(slight scurrying heard as the mole heads back underground to study and eat bacon)

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

bacon update

Bacon Flavour Fries.
Cross between the immortal Pork Rind and the incredible
Krinkle Cut Fry. From Ireland. Do I have to cross the pond to get some freaking snacks with bacon on them?!?!?

it's a secret

don't forget to post your little person on the guest map...

we are heading down to San Antonio today to be with Grammy and Pots and get a chance to go to our home church growing up and help mom (Grammy) with the Thanksgiving cooking and help dad (Pots) with sitting on the couch watching football. We are really looking forward to it. for Alicia and I, it is like coming home from work and plopping on the couch and letting out that deep sigh. my sister and my cunado will come in, either tonight or tomorrow and everybody gets along and has a great time.

Our big surprise was going to be Malin. we didn't think she was going to be able to come with us and would go with Rachael to Houston but those plans fell through, so she'll be coming with us to SA. we had already told mom and dad that she wouldn't be with us so we were thinking of ways to surprise them. Only one problem... mom was talking with Malin the other day and she asked her what she was doing for Thanksgiving and Malin tells her "It's a secret" which to her 6 yr old mind gives away nothing but to the Grammy super-sleuth has revealed all. Oh well.

Will I eat too much, be too lazy, and watch a ton of football for Thanksgiving? It's a secret.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

maybe it's just a head cold

don't know how much more i can take. feel so divided. on one hand i see the church and envision what the church could be and what i think should be. how can such a wide chasm exist. big churches and small. progressive and old-school. where are the transformed lives? didn't the NT writers look for evidence of the Holy Spirit within cities and churches to see what God was doing?

where is the holy spirit moving now? where is God moving lives and taking ordinary people and calling them out of the ordinary and into an extraordinary relationship with him? i want this for me. i want this for the church. i want this for my daughter and for all the people who see the church as rich people in SUV's hurrying on their way to church, too busy to notice them or get their hands dirty with real people's struggles.

is the church meant to peter out and sell out like this? i just can't see the apostles sitting around planning how the spirit is going to move and how they can dazzle people into becoming a member, joining one of the small groups or how they can convince the masses that they have what the people need.

don't we know what people need? what's keeping us from giving it to them? do we have to do this in some huge organized/structured way? i just don't see it happening. as often as i am frustrated by the church - i love it. i love the people and want them to live their lives to the fullest. i wonder how that will happen within the confines of buildings and beauracracies of the "church".

as i listen to other people, i realize it's not this congregation or that one. this is a problem everywhere. do you know why you here so much about the handful of congregations that are on fire with the holy spirit? because it is so rare. this doesn't make me happy to write this, but i believe it is the truth. what needs to happen? At the height of the churches' power ($ and political) what can break our hearts for Jesus and for the lost?

it is not another corporate run campaign. it is not music style. it's not better preaching. it's not something humans can achieve. who can stir the spirit of God and have him act here on earth?

have we come to a place where our sacrifices, celebrations and festivals have become disgusting to God? will God turn a deaf ear to us when we call on him because we ask with the intentions of building up our own kingdom and not His?

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

had to add this

imagine...bacon potato chips...
smells like bacon, tastes like bacon, even looks like bacon...
problem? only found in Britain.

lousy Brits. always keeping a brotha down.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

fashion tips

always on the cutting edge, thought i would provide some fashion tips for the middle aged youth workers who strive oh so hard to be hip. (amazing how that middle keeps getting older)
here are some combinations that, no matter what you read elsewhere, DO NOT go together.

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least ... my personal favorite:

13. Thongs and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in
your mind when you shop.

Jesus was smiling

i don't know if he is still smiling...i hope so but Sunday night I know he had a big ol' grin on that scruffy face.
Imagine. Chili cook-off, John Wayne's The Cowboys, Dominoes, Football and spiked Hot Apple Cider. I can die a happy man for I have achieved ministry's apex, climbed the summit of youth ministry and seen that it is good.

It doesn't even bother me that I didn't win the Best In Over all. It was just like a typical family get together, of course without the drunken fights, shotguns and my grandpa saying "I hope you can use it" every five minutes. Other than those minor failings, it was perfect.

It was great to be at a church gathering where people just enjoyed each other's company. No game show host to tell people what to do next. No contrived ways to trick people into talking to each other. Just an extended family having fun being with each other.

When was the last time I felt as comfortable at church as I do around my family? why is that? am i guarded against people seeing the real me because it won't live up to the fake images of myself I have shown them? how true is this for other people? Is the church walking around being completely false with each other?
Christ gives us unity through his death and resurrection and through the Holy Spirit we are united with all other believers. But how are we supposed to live that unity when no one but our family members even knows who we are? How can Christ transform lives that are already "perfect"? It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Veteran's Day and Misc.

God Bless our Troops and give them Victory, Security and the Respect and Honor they deserve!

Random things going on right now...
Sugarland Update: Alicia got a job teaching 6th grade Language Arts at Garcia M.S. I am super proud of her and she'll do great there. I don't think any principal worth their salt could meet her and not want her to teach at their school. now for me to find a job... I hear they need a fry cook at the Mc D's (finally my job experience pays off!)

Great blogosphere discussion going on at Andrew Jones' Tall Skinny Kiwi. It's about whether God is up to something in the USA. good stuff to read and see the different opinions on there from all over.

I am still really enjoying the book I have been reading "Houses That Change The World" by Wolfgang Simon. It's about house churches and the whole idea intrigues me. Have any of you out there heard about Luther's 3rd worship service for the house setting? Would be interested to see what Uncle Marty has to say about the house church.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Marines' Birthday

a story i got off a marine blog
Happy Birthday USMC Semper Fi!
News anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR reporter Cokie Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals.

They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief. The chief said, "I am familiar with your Western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job til the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine.

"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insisted the

So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the butt. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt?"

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you jerks call ME the aggressor?!"

the shepherd's misguide

there is a commercial that plays every 5 minutes the radio and it drives me absolutely crazy!!!!
"....We don't let just anybody with a checkbook advertise with us...Next time, when you're going to be spending money shouldn't it be in a believer's store..." Gag!
The Shepherd's Guide is a "Christian" yellow pages of sorts
they market "Christian" businesses to "Christian" buyers

I don't have a problem with Shepherd's Guide, or what they do. Christians can spend their money wherever they please and if they choose to spend it on businesses that run by Christians and around Christian principles - that's cool.

But how did they ever come up with the ad campaign that says #1 all non-Christian business are disreputable (implied in the ad) and #2 Christians shouldn't spend money in a non-believer's store?!?!?! (logical conclusion of this is the best way thinking)

Do they realize that this new invention "radio" (Ray-Dee-Oh) goes out to both Christians and non-Christians? Do they care that these infidels might not appreciate the snobby way they are referred to as "just anybody"?

Maybe I'm the crazy one here, but patronizing a business could be either a ministry or an outreach. Why not view your grubby 5's and 10's as investments in a relationship that could lead to a new believer?

David Nasser
(national Christian speaker) came to the U.S. from Iran and was invited to church, his dad a strong Muslim typically would not have approved. But that day a group of Christian men that ate at the family restaurant, helped bus tables and clean dishes because they saw that the restaurant was short handed. These men went to church at the same place that David had been invited to. Later, David and his whole family, including his dad, became Christians.

We cannot view our Christian communities as self-sustaining. Instead of the "ideal Christian life" revolving around church activities and interaction with other Christians, we must take our love and compassion outside of church walls.

Obviously, the Nasser situation above is a rare exception and the Christians involved had amazing spiritual giftings that the commoners, you and I, don't possess i.e. compassion, selflessness, dish-washing and putting aside our own schedule. and even if we did by some rare chances possess those gifts, God probably wouldn't use that as an opportunity to reach into someone's life and change it for eternity. It's not like he cares about those poor schleps at the cleaners, or at the gas station, or your favorite restaurant. Or maybe He does? Maybe He thinks about them all the time. Maybe He is planning something big in their life that you could actually be a part of.

I know that they are "just anybody" one of the masses but our heavenly Father knows their name and loves them deeply.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

On the move

emotionally exhausted today. talked to the kids today and told them that we are moving at Christmas break. that was pretty rough.

i'll take a step back, Rachael is moving to Sugarland at break because of plans for her and Angel to get married. Alicia and I were faced with the decision to stay in Round Rock or move to be with Malin. and for us, there is no decision to make. I'm not saying there wasn't a struggle or that we don't feel that we are letting down both our church and Aicia's school. but when you are in a situation where you have to let somebody down - for us, that wasn't going to be Malin.

Everybody at church was so supportive and that really meant alot to both of us. Collin, 6th grade, was so profound and mature. "that's pretty tough for you guys, but you're doing the right thing. if it's for Malin, then you have to do it."
God, it's going to be tough leaving them.

here's how things stand: Alicia (always on top of things) has an interview on Tuesday for a 5th grade Language Arts and Social Studies position. I am looking for something. anything. actually, i am really looking for a job where i can work with people. your prayers are appreciated. of course my illustrious career will no doubt draw employers by the hundreds. youth worker, bean cooker and brisket slicer, insurance adjuster, hat shaper, security guard and manual laborer. almost forgot maintenance/demolitions man (anytime they wanted a new water fountain or whatever, they would send me to fix it) and camp counselor. look out Fortune 500 companies I'm on the market.

Alicia and I have grown so close through this. I have the best wife in the world. random thought yesterday. i was thinking about dying (if you drove the length of Mopac everyday so would you) and I tried to imagine what would happen right now, with the move to Sugarland. I know that Alicia loves Malin so much that she would still be just as committed to Malin as she is right now. I continue to see Jesus through Alicia each and everyday. - you can fool a lot of people in this world, but it is hard to fool your spouse. I thank God for her and the example she gives to Malin and to me.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

"i'd rather be last than wrong"

it's such a great day, I'm singing a Tim McGraw song...cats and dogs living together I tell ya!
I realize that lately texas cooking hasn't been living up to it's sur-title "Food, Politics and Jesus" so here is a list of what I ate during the 10 hour election watch:
1 bag "frito-like" dip chips
1 container french onion dip in honor of Kerry
1 box Little Debbie Snack Cakes
1 pkg provolone cheese

Everything was shaping up like expected until Florida just refused to get close. tighten up...but not even close.
West Virginia falls to Bush right out of the gate.
New Hampshire is called for Kerry...second coming of Christ eminent
reporters are starting to get nervous, but never fear, they'll get a boost from the left coast.
the lefties go blue and still we wait for Ohio.
and wait.
and wait.
Iowa can't get it's act together.
all the states with 100 people or less can be counted (NV, NM, Wisc, etc)
meanwhile, Ohio is going strong for Bush. he has weathered cugawa county (or whatever) finally Fox and NBC have enough cajonies to call Ohio for W, but in the NOBLE words of Red Dan Rather "I'd rather be last than wrong"
He is so concerned about journalistic integrity that he doesn't want to go ahead with reporting something and then find out it is false.
I'm glad he found his scruples in time to not call the election for Bush. ABC was stuck because they had already called Nevada for Bush so giving him Ohio would have put him over the 270 margin. So they would rather be last. .
Don't worry Dan. You are. dead last.

On a side note, I actually had tears in my eyes watching Jimmy Carvel talk about the end of the Democratic (to hell with God) Secular Party. straight up the guy called it. It's over. Dems need to take a look inward and then get back in touch with the American people. But I wouldn't bet on it.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Doing My Part

Alicia and I have our "Support the Troops" yellow ribbon on the Exploder and sometimes we even remember to pray for them, but am I really doing my part as an American to support our troops who are in harms way for me and for my family. I have to admit that if the soldiers were putting forth the same effort in Iraq that I am back home, we would be in serious trouble.
Where is the war effort showing in my life? I have to admit that sometimes I think about enlisting and seeing if they would take an out of shape 29 year old. but that's where it stops.
My grandfathers' generation, lied about their age to go and fight, while people back home went without meat and other essentials, all to support the war effort. I'm cranky when I wake up to late to get my Starbucks.
When I open the newspaper, I read all the politicals and sports before I maybe read about the recent American soldier's death.
I visited a site this morning called Soldiers' Angel and it is really inspiring. It is a mom of a soldier in Iraq that started sending letters , care packs and Christmas goodies to the soldiers in his unit. You absolutely have to check out this site. Sign up to help in at least one of the areas. It is incredible to think what a blessing we can be to our troops who are the finest and brightest that this country has to offer.
They risk their lives, leave their wives and babies behind to protect us and bring freedom and stability to a region that has only known fear and inhumanity for so long. What is more noble than what they are doing?
writing this I think about some of the boys that have gone through my youth group and others that I know who are serving or have served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Allen in the spec. forces, wounded on his jump into Iraq. Derek serving in Iraq right now, joined the Navy right out of high school. Clinton in the Navy, currently in Iraq. Chris recently joined the Army, not yet deployed. Micah in the Marines on his second deployment in Iraq. Mary, mother of 3, serving as a trauma nurse deployed this month to Iraq. Most of these kids have families who will be supporting them but I think about their sisters and brothers in arms, serving in the same unit.

God bless and protect them. Bring our enemies to a swift justice.

Monday, November 01, 2004

In loving memory of Guisepi "pepi" roni

Great party! Alicia and Malin threw me a really great birthday party Saturday. They managed to keep it a secret despite my numerous attempts to trick them into revealing some morsel of information. I'm glad they didn't.
Saturday morning Alicia has us moving the furniture all around and cleaning the house like an indentured servant. I step out for a bit and when I come back into the house there are candles everywhere and this memorial to Guisepi "Pepi" Roni, loving husband, caring father and devoted grandfather. what's more there's a picture of my dad who is supposed to be Pepi. Alicia is putting on this nice black evening dress and she tells me to put on my courderoy pants a polo and my cleats. Random.
My parents show up and my dad is dressed like a cross between the god-father and Elwood Blues, mom is all in black apparently in mourning. Amber and Justin show up...Amber in fish-nets and tacky jewelry and Justin as a frenchie. totally random.
Robert and Lisa arrive as a clair-voyent and a priest.
Alicia had set up a Murder Mystery dinner and it was so much fun. We were such big dorks accusing people and defending ourselves in horrible I-talian accents. it was great and my wife is wonderful and so much more than I could ever deserve.
great birthday

Friday, October 29, 2004

venti nueve

well I now am 1 year away from 30. i guess it came easy enough...woke up this morning, aching a little from my lp. stitches...i wonder if at 18 i would still be hurting from 3 little holes in my gut? took Alicia to work because the stupid battery in my car died (an early birthday present i guess). I picked up Malin, made sure she read her books and studied for her spelling test (we're working through the double E's...keep, green, sleep, etc.) and she nailed 'em all. As i dropped her off I had the unbearable urge to honk and wave and make a complete fool of myself, just to embarass her of course. Something about the way she was walking along looking so cool just triggered it...I overcame my urge and went to a little mom 'n pop coffee shop called common grounds. got my black eye large coffee -add 2 espresso shots - definitely a sign of getting older, needing that much caffeine to get going. of course the next sign is the ulcer I'll get from subjecting my innerds to this torture but you only go round once right? of course if you watched wife swap this week (alicia made me) then you learned that you can 'go round' at least 700 times. one of the couples was all zenned out and the dad led the family in meditation cuz he was on his 700th life writing poetry, making art and ignoring that nuisance "time" that man invented. the swapped wife was a clean freak and had a coronary because the house was messy and i was like "well...i guess it's kinda messy - like a cross between pete and i's old dorm room and alicia and i's first apartment" and the other house was like a veggie free zone. all meat-all the time. combine those two things and you have a Jason run house. nice. i think they call it "the best of all possible worlds" or something.
anyways, i'm getting old. happy birthday to me.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

valid testimony

"If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid. There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about my is valid." John 5:31-32
Jesus is talking about how even though he is the Son of God, that his testimony was validated only through the rest of the Bible and how it pointed to him. that, although some people may have doubts about his claims, or his "testimony", that they could search through Scriptures and for that matter the wisdom of the created world and find that what Jesus was saying was and is true. He is God become Man so that He could live a perfect life and save the world from the sin that is destroying it.
On a day like today, feeling crummy and very much an invalid, I need to know that someone is giving testimony for me. That even though my life doesn't show that the hope of Christ is in me...I hope that Christ is even now giving testimony to the Father that I am indeed one of his children. That when I am too apathetic, too self-consumed, too you name it - when my testimony becomes invalid...He still speaks up for me and claims me.
As Job once said, I know that he lives

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


have been taken out by a pendicitis...
no computer... lots of vicadin...
tried to go to work today... failed.

Friday, October 22, 2004

houses that change the world

i'm reading a great book by Wolfgang Simon about the whole home church movement. it is really great and you should check it out
an interesting look at the church, what it is, what it has become and ways that it can impact the lives of everyday people. the biggest question it poses for me is "how did Chrisitianity become something a couple of 'professionals' do 7 days a week and everybody else does 1-2 hours on Sunday morning. Before you plan an intervention for me, ask yourself "self, how many church members that i know live out their faith in helping others, in personal bible study and devotion and ministering to the needs of un-Christians?" probably very few within the whole scope of church members that you know. If that's the case not only in your church, but across the U.S. and more, what is the current structure of the church doing to change that or is the current structure furthering this problem.
at the National Youth Workers Convention a few fellow youthworkers talked about what's wrong with the church and it was easy to pin-point the LCMS problems but i think it is bigger than that and the same kind-of lukewarm faith is going on all over the place. that's why it is so amazing and inspiring when you meet someone who is living out their faith, because we see so little of it.

interested in seeing your comments and definitely worth checking out Houses That Change The World by Wolfgang Simon he's not the usual worn-out, pessimistic, doom and gloom leave the Bible behind post-emerge-converge look at my ear-rings and soul patch i'm so with the culture i have to be right kind-of guy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Go 'Stros

great night for sports last night! i was watching down at the clubhouse last night and had all 3 games on at once. It was a dream come true for an ADHD sports fan!
as i watched the Boston fans praying and pleading with God, I wondered whether or not the Almighty actually hears the prayers of people from Boston. I guess one could argue that #1 since they were playing NY and #2 since they won in spite of several game ending mistakes that God heard them, but I still wonder. another possibility is that God heard the prayers of the people of Texas and Misery, along with all the yankee haters out there
regardless, here is some more scripture bending for today:
Isaiah 31 woe to those who go down to Steinbrenner for help, who rely on their checkbooks, who trust in the multitude of their star power trades and in the great strength of their bats...

many thanks to Josh who sent me the mp3 of Robert Earl singing God Bless America before game 4, i couldn't figure out how to link it here but if you want it let me know

Friday, October 15, 2004

spanish monkey back in texas

just got great news! Peter Burow will be headed back to Texas! Pete just got a job as the youth minister of Hope Lutheran in Lubbock, TX and I know that God is going to bless them tremendously through that. Keep Pete in your prayers as he follows God in this journey!

i want to share this passage with you from Isaiah - i continue to just be inspired by Isaiah's writings and how he shares such a unique look at God.

A Song of Praise to the LORD (26)

In that day, everyone in the land of Judah will sing this song:

Our city is now strong!
We are surrounded by the walls of God's salvation.

Open the gates to all who are righteous;
allow the faithful to enter.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you,
whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Trust in the LORD always,
for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.

He humbles the proud
and brings the arrogant city to the dust.
Its walls come crashing down!

The poor and oppressed trample it underfoot.

But for those who are righteous,
the path is not steep and rough.
You are a God of justice,
and you smooth out the road ahead of them.

LORD, we love to obey your laws;
our heart's desire is to glorify your name.

All night long I search for you;
earnestly I seek for God.

I was at a funeral yesterday. Matt Willis is 1 of 3 teenagers that had been killed in a drag race around 4 in the morning. 2 teens survived the accident but have to come to grips with the fact that their best friends are dead. I stood by helplessly, watching the friends and family mourn and wail over their loss. There is nothing so acute as the pain a teenager faces when they lose someone to death. I felt disgust as the news vans showed up, video taping people on their way into the overflowing sanctuary, zooming in on the teenagers' puffy red faces. I thought i would explode when they were so bold as to come and interview people as they stood in line to pay their last respects.
I begged God to comfort these kids and the poor families whose world is in chaos now.
Lord God, smooth out the road ahead of these families and friends who have lost so much. Fix our thoughts on you and somehow lead us to trust in you, even now, especially now.
We are pilgrims and strangers in this land and let us rejoice that Matt is home now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

way off

okay so i was way off on the UT OU scenario. 12-zip. what a disappointment. i was in Dallas during the game and walking around the West End, let me tell you how outnumbered UT fans were to the Sooners. I'm shocked at how they (OU) get up for the game at all. 5 in a row and they are as excited as a hillbilly at a family reunion. What will it take to get the Longhorns serious?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Anyone can comment

i didn't realize i had the comment setting on blog users - new to this whole thing
now you don't have to register with the site to comment. you should be able to just click on the comment bubble, write and publish. let me know via email if you have any problems.

Heart Patient Outruns Ambulance Chaser

Gotta read Ann Coulter's Latest.
Besides being very hot, she is hilarious.

p.s. Alicia and I are going to be at the National Youth Worker's Convention in Dallas till Monday and yes i have permission to say that Ann is hot.


The treacherous betray! With treachery the treacherous betray!
Terror and pit and snare await you,
O people of the earth.
Whoever flees at the sound of terror will fall into a pit;
whoever climbs out of the pit will be caught in a snare.
Isaiah 24:16a-18

maybe it was the espresso shot kicking in, but these words really struck me this morning. Listen to the wisdom: when you know someone to be treacherous, don't be surprised when they betray you. It is foolish to assume that people who are do evil are idiots. You cannot run away or give in when they resort to fear or intimidation, because you will not be safer. In fact, you will run right into the trap that they have set for you. The terrorist's goal is to have you run, not to stand up and fight.

At Jackson Middle School in San Antonio, Texas, there lived a bully named Kio. During my 6th grade year, he threatened a friend and I that if we didn't give him 50 cents a day, he would beat us up. being pretty scrawny and afraid, we both gave in coughed up the 50 cents for one whole school year. there were times when i would even resort to stealing, to pay off my ransom. We ran at the sound of Kio's 8th grade terror and we fell into a pit of weakness and humiliation and were snared into paying this skater thug every day. What would a couple of beatings done? First off, Kio would have been found out and I doubt that my friend and I would have even been expelled for fighting when the truth was discovered. Secondly, we would have discovered a strength within ourselves to stand up to intimidation and learned that physical pain doesn't last forever. (we might have even won)

Today we live in a world filled with terror. We cannot run away from terror or it's consequences. Whether it is international terrorism, the fear of the unknown or even the terror that comes when living as a missionary in this world and a disciple of Jesus; running away is not an option. Logically, giving in to terror doesn't make sense. Spiritually, acting out of fear denies God's power and love.

Be wise. A snake is a snake. God is God. Be who God made you to be.

p.s. it is a strange religion, Christianity, that calls us to love the same enemies that it warns us about.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Mick speaks out...finally

Check out Bill O'Reily's column in NY Daily News. It's a great one about how Europe is in the tank and why they love to hate us.

p.s. instead of emailing your comments by clicking on the link below. that's how this is supposed to go. I say "blah, blah, blah" you call me an idiot...then i come to your house and beat... well right up until that last part.

texas football

it's finally october and it couldn't have happened sooner. Speaking of sooners right now it is 10:16 in the AM and OU still sucks. living in Austin, you can't turn on a radio without hearing all the hype and the homers who know that UT is going to stomp OU like the backwood hill-billies they are. While I never miss an opportunity to bash all things Okie, the Longhorns will have to show something they have been lacking for quite awhile, ganas. The extreme desire, want and will power to overcome. Ultimately, Saturday's game will come down to the line of scrimage. Whoever dominates here (UT with their run or OU with the pass protection) wins the game. Look for high scoring since both offenses have the edge over their opponent's defense.

Could this be a better weekend? Friday Night Lights has finally been made into a movie and it sounds like it is going to be great and not only that but it has real football. World, stop and wonder and the beauty that is Texas High School Football.

Sunday should be a good game to watch between Dallas and New York. They won't meet again until Jan 2nd and while NY leads Dallas iin the NFC East standings a win here will give Dallas a jump into second behind the @#*#*@ Eagles. (didn't want to offend anyone by saying Philadelphia. oops.)

The Packers, it should be noted, are raising a stink of their own.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

texas chilli

texas cooking
chilli recipe
2 lbs course ground chilli/beef
1 lb course ground venison (or beef)
1.5 lbs skirt steak grilled and cubed
1.5 lbs bbq chicken thighs cubed
1 pkg bacon
2 onions (your choice)
24 oz beer (darker beer gives a sweet flavor)
4 cups water
4 jalapenos seeded and diced
1 serano pepper diced and seeded
10 tbsp Sweet Hungarian Paprika (or regular)
5 tbsp Chilli Powder
2 tbsp White Pepper
3 tbsp Salt
6 oz can tomato paste
2-3 tbsp honey
1 tbsp flour
1 tbsp masa

Fry bacon extra crispy and crumble, preserve grease.(quality control taste test of bacon) In a large pot. Sweat diced Onions in grease. Add spices. Add Beef and Venison. Using a wooden spoon, stir until mixture reaches a light greyish color. Add beer and water. Cook covered for 1 hour, stirring occassionally.
(taste test bacon again) Add peppers, bacon and tomato paste and stir. After another hour, Add Fajita and chicken meat and honey to taste.
Let simmer for 1-2 hours. Taste. Add spices and pepper to taste.
Let cool and then place in fridge over night. When you are ready to eat, take chilli out and remove top layer of grease with a spoon.
warm up and make a paste of equal parts flour, masa and water. (1-2 tbsp should do it) add to chilli. allow to thicken and enjoy.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

words from a prophet

some words of hope in trying times...

The oppressor will come to an end
and destruction will cease;
the aggressor will vanish from the land.
In Love a throne will be established;
in Faithfulness a man will sit on it -
one from the house of David

Friday, October 01, 2004

slight coronary

Alicia and I watched the debates last night and i have never been more nervous watching tv! i was so anxious for W to do a good job it took everything in me to sit still Alicia did not suffer from the same malady - dropping off after about 30 mins. i don't know how that girl sleeps so much! seriously she can be out anytime within 5 mins
and i couldn't sleep until i had seen Vin Diesel capture the drug lords for the 5th time this week!

I can't stand watching Kerry up there, so smug, talking about supporting the troops! Supporting whose troops?! The man should be prosecuted for weakening America and giving comfort and aid to the enemy! what kind of man gets a fake tan and a manicure before a big challenge? Did you see the picture on Drudge? Ridiculous. I can't wait for this election to be over so i can go back to my normally high blood pressure.

It feels really good to just take your mind off politics for awhile and get back to the stuff that really matters, like the Cowboys season so far and of course, perfecting the magical delight known as chilli. look for my chilli recipe coming up soon. it is a lot of work, but i promise it is worth the effort!
God Bless Y'all