Monday, June 13, 2005

to grackel or not to grackel

driving home from church yesterday and a grackel flies right into the road in front of our car and dies.
Check that. before even the impact with the road, the aforementioned grackel was in fact dead. It hits and rolls - dead as old grandma.
Instinctively, I swerve to miss the recently deceased and watch as it is flattened underneath the tires of the Lumina behind me.

Winner for most random experience of the day.

Friday, June 10, 2005

the little people

I have found a common thread for my week and it is little people. By that I don't mean inconsequential or unimportant person, but instead those who are otherwise referred to as dwarfs or midgets. please excuse my un-pc-ness.
started off by getting a $9 tip from a guy named Shorty (who was) and then my TV gets over-run by little people.
And no it was not another Wizard of Oz/Mini Me Marathon.

We recently bought a friend's TV (so that we could upgrade to a bigger screen) and then last weekend, I noticed a thin fuzzy line at the bottom of the picture. No worries, just a line.
Soon the line gets bigger. Next the picture starts to shrink.
Then one day, everybody on my TV has the proportions of a little person.
Watching the game last night was hideous. little Tim versus little Ben. Little Rasheed pumping his fists in the air. Little Manu flailing on the ground. Little Hubie with his little ashen face.
All the while soaking in the irony of our Big Screen Upgrade.

Viva Los Spurs!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

and can i have the change?

Saturday night taking pizza to this lady, it's a $21.23 bill. when I get there she is outside smoking and runs inside to get her money. she shows back up at the door and hands me a twenty dollar bill, a one dollar bill and a quarter. She then asks "and can I have the change?"

Later that night, around 11:30, I'm taking a $50 order to a house full of drunks. They guy who ordered only has a hundred and drivers aren't allowed to carry more than $20. he looks at me and asks "what should I do?" I reply "well, mr. common sense I think you should go break that 100 and come back and I'll give you the pizzas."

people are funny and I just laugh - because that's how I roll