don't know how much more i can take. feel so divided. on one hand i see the church and envision what the church could be and what i think should be. how can such a wide chasm exist. big churches and small. progressive and old-school. where are the transformed lives? didn't the NT writers look for evidence of the Holy Spirit within cities and churches to see what God was doing?
where is the holy spirit moving now? where is God moving lives and taking ordinary people and calling them out of the ordinary and into an extraordinary relationship with him? i want this for me. i want this for the church. i want this for my daughter and for all the people who see the church as rich people in SUV's hurrying on their way to church, too busy to notice them or get their hands dirty with real people's struggles.
is the church meant to peter out and sell out like this? i just can't see the apostles sitting around planning how the spirit is going to move and how they can dazzle people into becoming a member, joining one of the small groups or how they can convince the masses that they have what the people need.
don't we know what people need? what's keeping us from giving it to them? do we have to do this in some huge organized/structured way? i just don't see it happening. as often as i am frustrated by the church - i love it. i love the people and want them to live their lives to the fullest. i wonder how that will happen within the confines of buildings and beauracracies of the "church".
as i listen to other people, i realize it's not this congregation or that one. this is a problem everywhere. do you know why you here so much about the handful of congregations that are on fire with the holy spirit? because it is so rare. this doesn't make me happy to write this, but i believe it is the truth. what needs to happen? At the height of the churches' power ($ and political) what can break our hearts for Jesus and for the lost?
it is not another corporate run campaign. it is not music style. it's not better preaching. it's not something humans can achieve. who can stir the spirit of God and have him act here on earth?
have we come to a place where our sacrifices, celebrations and festivals have become disgusting to God? will God turn a deaf ear to us when we call on him because we ask with the intentions of building up our own kingdom and not His?