Thursday, April 28, 2005


my sister and brother in law are having a baby and she just called me because they went to the doctor and saw the sonogram and they could see my neicephew's heart fluttering away! it's only been 6 weeks. I think that amazing.
Part of the reason I'm so pumped is that they have tried for so long and we have all been praying like crazy...more so praying a lot than "like crazy". "like crazy" would entail muttering and flailing and asking God to stop the leprechaun from stealing your lucky charms...but i digress.
sorry for the nasty appearance of this post but since i had to turn in my laptop when i changed jobs, this is how it's gonna be. unless you want to make your donation to the GMAC Fund (Get the Maroneys A Computer) then my posts will be pretty again. incoherrent but pretty.
The only sad news about the neicephew is that there is only one of them. Of course this will only be sad news to Malin since she was praying for my sister to have 100 babies. I guess she had watched 101 dalmations or something. Silver lining: not 100 babies but my neicephew does look like a poodle. (that what the sonogram lady said. honest.) I guess that means the baby will be taking after my brother-in-law.
Maroneys are not that well-bred. We're more of the mutt variety.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

post by email

I'm checking out to see what the posts look like if you send it in by email.
Just a test. Don't read and expect anything witty, thoughtful or remotely interesting in the post.
Although, I am pretty pumped the FISHING/GOLFING/CAMPING MEN'S RETREAT at Lake Whitney this weekend.
Supposedly, this is the best thing since pull tab beer.
NOT one of those "sit down and talk about your feelings" women's retreat for men. Who comes up with those anyway? Why would any self-respecting man want to spend an entire weekend hearing about how they are emotionally unavailable? Are the retreat planners trying to put our wives out of a job? Dominoes and Lone Star. Fishing Poles and Bar-B-Q. Holy Mother of Pearl!
Oh yeah...and I got offered a new job that is really great and I'm taking it! More details to come
Other than that...just your usual boring post

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

the blog vs. the bulletin board

The difference between slugging your way through a Fiesta Mart and perusing through mom and pop's local store. Can you find absolutely every flippin' thing at the Fiesta Mart? Every wierd root and juice and canned item. hats, t-shirts and knick-knacks. True, there is the limited choice at mom and pop's. but you don't have to walk past the gang of thugs loitering out front. you just have to step over the family dog that "guards" the front door. Of course, I think that dingy old dog gives the store some personality and instead of a world of a la carte, there is more intentionality and attention to detail.
At mom and pop's, you run into the guy who cuts your hair or your buddy since 5th grade. At the Fiesta Mart, you're lucky if you run into somebody who speaks coherent English.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Heller For President?

what happens when President Logan screws up royally? When he ties the hands of CTU and the FBI? When he plays right into the hands of the terrorists?
Mike Novak has already proven that he will subvert a president if he thinks him incapable of his duties and that was with a trusted friend. How long before he steps in and gets mealy-mouth kicked out and supplanted by SecDef Heller?
Obviously, there are some succession questions there but Heller is on the president's cabinet and while the SecState or Speaker of the House would be a more natural choice, the overiding factor would be the security of the nation and for that Heller is the obvious choice. Of course, the most important factor here is that the fans love Heller's red-faced, give 'em hell politics and we don't even know anybody else so...duh.
I say this won't be till next week, after the poo has really hit the fan. by then, Jack will be one step behind Marwan and one step of the FBI who will be looking for him on orders from Mealy. Heller will be able to come in and help just in time to help Jack capture the missing warhead.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The Hobbit Cafe

Originally uploaded by Texas Cooking.
Alicia and I went out last night without a plan or direction. We set out to have dessert and a drink. Simple enough? Right.
We drove past the newly opened Cheesecake Factory. A line of people wrapped around the restraurant. All the teeny boppers on their cell phones spending mom and dad's money. Someone in our party of 2 reccomends that we go in and sit at the bar since all we want is dessert. Dessert at the CHEESECAKE Factory. Maybe it's just me but don't you think that some of those other people in the mile long line have thought of that? Just maybe.
We tool on down the road and jump on 59. We look at all the chain restaurants and replicates and pass. We head downtown and try to scout out a place. We drive down Kirby. We drive up and down Westheimer. We drive down Shepherd. Tension starts to build. We drive back down Kirby. Frustration sets in. Turn onto Richmond and it doesn't look promising but then Alicia says "the Hobbit cafe".
A wooden sign shows Gandalf pointing to the back of a filled gravel parking lot. Oak trees growing up randomly amongst the vehicles. The cafe is nestled in the back, hidden from the busy street. A huge old oak tree grows through the covered deck that wraps around the building.
The cafe itself is extremely quaint, a converted home with old wood and painted in very earthy and rustic colors. We sat inside under a LOTR movie poster and a drawing of Thorin Oakenshield. (Thorin of course is the head dwarf from The Hobbit). I had a Strider, an egg salad sandwich with mushrooms and tomatoes. Alicia enjoyed a Gandalf, avacados and mushrooms under melted monterey jack. Excellent draft beer from microbreweries in houston and austin and a finely picked wine list. A hefewiezen for me and a reisling for Alicia. From what I gather, the Hobbit is frequented by alot of vegans, but there are a lot of items on the menu that do have meat.
For those keeping track, after searching all night for a good place to get dessert, we ended up eating dinner. But the Hobbit was worth it and I still have an entire half a sandwich to eat for lunch today.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

poll of the day

who is the worst kid actor:
a. teenage post-modern terrorist
b. "dad. i'm scared"
c. kim remade and undone
d. other

we all know this

the 3% property appraisal cap was shot down last night. Check that. The discussion of a 3% property tax apprasial cap was shot down. The movement was started by tax payers who are also home owners and are fed up with being the local governments' cash cow.
The down and dirty of it is, when cities and municipalities find their budget a little short, the old tax assesor gets sent out to recoup the shortfall. Of course he skips over the judge's house, the senator and represenative and the people who sit on the city boards. Their houses obviously haven't grown in value. Some of their taxes haven't been raised in years. Of course this is assuming that any of these mark ups have anything to do with the houses' values.
The worst part of all this is that 36 republicans walked away from this issue and voted to not have a discussion on this issue. An issue that is part of their platform. They are all firmly in the pocket of their county judges' and spending lobbies' back pocket.
It makes me so disgusted that on every turn it seems that the peoples' voice gets drowned out by unelected judges and silent lobbies who have easy access to our pocket book.
On a bigger scene, Delay is being hung to dry (but he's too strong to get put down) by a party that is scared to be itself. Scared to go back to the image of the heartless Republicans who want to starve your family and take your kids lunch money. Scared to stand up to fight for itself or one of it's own.
To top of my frustration today, I read 3 lines from this article and almost vomitted. Here a "representative" obviously unaffilliated with any specific party only to the state of Vermont. Unless of course if you read the rest of the article, down way at the bottom...the democratic party defends him thereby you can guess that Sanders (rep otherwise unattached) might be a democrat. Of course the article itself glows about how his wife and daughter are so knowledgeable about Vermont politics that they were worth "every penny" that old hubby paid them. Same situation as Delay but you won't hear a word about it in the mainstream.
Sometimes I wonder (especially when trying to do my taxes) if the government really is in the business of trying to keep people from succeeding in life. Take hard working people's money and give it all to people who want to sit on their butt's. No wonder so much work is going over seas.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

1 for 2

ok. so i was wrong on the president...kind of. If he eventually dies, I say that I was still right. If he makes a comeback before the end of the show, I say that's it. Too neat and tidy and unbelievable. Only so far can you stretch me.
Is it possible that only 2 guys and a huey can be rounded up to try and secure the football? In the U.S. of freaking A? maybe. Is it possible that we would reinstate a former traitor and current alcoholic to be temporarily in charge of a government agency? that is definitely not a huge jump to make. But. come on. Does Jack, in fact, need to do everything? all the time?
I want to watch this show. I love it. But I don't want to watch General Hospital with guns. Let somebody freaking die for pete's sake.

Monday, April 11, 2005

for sale or rent

I finally discovered my skills! Unfortunately, it is neither numchuk nor bow hunting skills. BUT, I do have magical abilities. (currently) I can go to any professional sports venue and not only make my team win, but win by one point at the buzzer.

First the Spurs/Lakers, then the Astros/Reds. I'm en fuego! Granted, there is no "buzzer" at a baseball game, but it was bottom of the ninth, so I think it qualifies.

I'm not yet certain if my skills require me to be a fan of the team or not. I will have to do further investigating.

Looking forward to a great 24 tonight. My money is on this scenario: President is dead (if not it will seem too Soap Opera/Harrison Ford). The Football escapes immeadiate capture but later falls into the terrorists' hands but is rescued by Jack before (right before) they blow anything up (preferably during the obligatory evil guy monologue). They will try to use the football to kill all Americans and if they were being true to life, nuke Israel, but as mentioned earlier this will be thwarted. Frankly this season is getting a little ho-hum. not quite as edge-of-your-seat-what's-going-to happen-next like the preceeding seasons. I will say this much for this season's terrorists, they find something that works and stick with it. i.e. blow up a vehicle (train/plane) where something valuable is and show up before the response team can get there and steal it. It's quality, because the items are in these destruction proof cases and if you can control when and where you blow up the vehicle, you're bound to get there before any response team can. kudos to you Mr. Terrorist Plan Maker. You go the extra mile to blow us up.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

sickness and wonderings

Alicia has the flu. She is out cold. Occassionally she wakes up enough to chort out this nasty chest cough. Each time I wonder if I should go and scoop up her lung fragments and shove them back inside. But that would probably hurt worse than it would be beneficial. So I do the next best thing: feed her soup, fill 'er up with sleepy drugs and watch sports.

Don't judge me... It's not like she's awake or even alive to this world. What does it matter if I gorge on basketball, baseball and ESPN Classic? How can it be wrong, when it feels so right? Did I mention all the Tom Clancy movies ever made? It's time like this that I wonder crazy things. Like...if being gay didn't involve the whole sex thing, or acting...well acting gay, or dressing preppy...but instead was just two dudes watching sports, grilling steaks and drinking beer every night...well...I think there would be a lot more gay guys. But instead they're missing all the benefits and still have all the... the...non-benefits (i think that's safe enough) and spend time arguing over whether they watch Trading Spaces or Ice Skating. Come on guys. You're screwing up a good thing!

I love being married and I love Alicia to death, I'm just saying that a little less Soap TV and a little more bar-b-que in the old diet is not a horrible thing. I'm just saying is all

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Remember the Schiavo

There are many who claim that Sam Houston did nothing to save the defenders of the Alamo because he in fact wanted to benefit from the Alamo's defeat. Knowing Santa Anna's bloated ego would compel him to utterly destroy the mission and any who would stand up against him, Sam (it is claimed) allowed the defeat to stoke the fires and anger of his army to a fever pitch. Ultimately, Sam Houston's forces fought Santa Anna on grounds that they chose, fueled by the cry "Remember the Alamo".

I must say here, that the Alamo was an obvious trap for the fledgling Texas Army and to run to their rescue would have played right into old Santy Anna's hand. Let's say he could have thrown forces into the mission... could it have been enough to change the outcome of the battle? I say no. The first loss is the smallest loss. The defeat of the Alamo was decided long before Sam Houston was notified of the seige. It was in underestimating the enemy.

This brings us to current day. Was Terri Schiavo the Alamo for conservatives? Is she more politically useful now that she has been martyred? If George and Jeb could have rescued her life there at the end, would they have? Did they, in fact use every power at their discretion to intervene and stand up for this lady? Or would the cost have been to high and the gain to small?

When does doing something because it is right, lose to doing something because it is effective? Battlefield tactics, involving soldiers who know the cost war may require, differs greatly from politcal angles at the expense of American citizens. I don't know the answer to the question I am asking. I don't know why Sam Houston did not answer the calls of William Travis and I don't know whether George and Jeb exhausted every option for Terri. I certainly don't know what was going on inside their hearts and minds. Most everything I have seen and heard about these two men is that they are above reproach are loving, caring Christian men. It seemed though, that at the end, when public opinion seemed to turn, both backed off a little and would not use their executive powers to intervene, instead bowing to the judiciary as though it is the most powerful branch and greater than the Governor, President and Legislature combined.

In all of this, the most striking similarity is that now, people are beginning to see the powers that they are up against. While the will of the people is evidenced in a conservative house, senate and presidency, the judiciary stands as the last governmental bastion for liberalism. People are now incensed and up in arms. Unfortunately, it took a young lady's life to call them to action.

Monday, April 04, 2005

sycophants, mormans & frustrated engineers...oh my!

The Genesis Project is pretty funny. You must check it out, but do yourself a favor and don't start reading the comments posted. but if you do, make fun of them here.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Goodbye Mitch

Stolen from Comedy Central
Tragically, Mitch Hedberg passed away on March 30, 2005. Mitch was a beloved member of the Comedy Central family, and we join with his fans in our sadness. He will be missed.

Born and raised in the St. Paul area, Mitch Hedberg decided to start his own comedy career in South Florida. Not so much for the comedy scene, but for the sun. His landlord would drive him up and down the coast from club to club in his pick-up truck where Mitch would lie down in the back to avoid any of the negative conversations his landlord would try to have with him.

Mitch developed his style in Florida and decided to try it out on different audiences. He moved to Seattle and toured throughout the Pacific Northwest honing his act in front of the new audiences. While in Los Angeles, Mitch booked his first television appearance on MTV's "Comikaze" by walking into the MTV offices and personally pitching himself to the talent coordinator. Many cable shows followed including A&E's "Comedy on the Road," Comedy Central's "Comedy Product," and NBC's "Comedy Showcase" hosted by Louie Anderson.

In 1996, Mitch got his break with an invitation to perform at the prestigious Just for Laughs Montreal International Comedy Festival. His performances secured him a deal with a studio and a spot on "The Late Show with David Letterman." Letterman enjoyed the set so much that he actually quoted one of Mitch's bits later in the show.

Mitch's stand-out performances on the Letterman show (on which he appeared 10 times) and at comedy festivals secured a development deal with FOX to create his own sitcom and prompted TIME magazine to proclaim him "the next Seinfeld" and The Hollywood Reporter to headline their review of the Festival, "Laughs are Loudest for Hedberg."

Mitch also released two popular comedy CDs, "Strategic Grill Locations" and "Mitch All Together," and he wrote and directed a film, "Las Enchiladas!" which had its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival.

Known for his dry, observational wit and low-key style, Mitch Hedberg was a master of turning everyday details into brilliant one-liners:

"I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others."

"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."

"I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out."

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."

While he was frequently compared to the comedian Stephen Wright, Mitch's style was indelibly unique and never could be imitated. He was truly one of a kind.

Unlike many comics who shy away from their fans' attention, Mitch welcomed it. His official website encouraged fans to send in pictures of themselves posing with Mitch at his shows. One published anecdote tells of Mitch meeting a group of college students at a recent show in Florida who mentioned the stifling heat of their dorm room. Mitch knocked on their door the next morning with a brand-new air conditioner.

Mitch Hedberg was popular among his peers and had many friends in the comedy community. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune quoted close friend and comedian Doug Stanhope of The Man Show as saying "He was the greatest comedian ever."

Mitch passed away in March, 2005 at the age of 37.

johnny c's eu-lo-gee

(written on the 29th but blogger was down so in lieu of actual, recent comments...)
Where were you when the white bronco led LA's finest on a nationally viewed car chase?
I was at my high school girlfriend's house after football. I remember vividly the goose-egg I had on my leg from doing those horrible drills that high school coaches have wet dreams about. Someone had cut down a massive tree, probably during the civil war, and ever since then, teenage boys have bear crawled, hopped, shuffled, lunged and rolled over and around the prehistoric trunks. It was during a sideways bear-crawl that I smacked my shin on the log.
That my friends is a special feeling that I highly recommend. The very real sensation that your leg just broke into. A throbbing that overpowers your mental abilities and a temporary paralysis sets in below your knee because your nerves are overloaded and will not allow you to injure yourself further.
Within an hour, your calf fills up with fluid which later turns a beautiful gangrenous black and blue. This fluid provides a fun past time for all of your friends: pressing indentions into the fluid filled calf and watching it slowly fill back up.
So I sat there, in a little house near Lee High School watching OJ evade the cops and then weeks/months later came the dream team pulling out all the stops. Maybe Johnny's up in heaven now defending celebrities and trying to get them into heaven. "Didn't hear the story...get them out of purgatory." and "You control their up the pearly gates."

Friday, April 01, 2005


I'm going to the SPURS game tomorrow and you're not!