when i was in college the big thing was that mountain dew caused a low sperm count - as if in college you wanted a high count right?
that would be like playing russian roulette and saying "hey, can i put another bullet in the gun?"
I was like the Mountain Dew king. Tastes Great. Less Impregnating.
Now that I'm married I guess the tables are turned and believe it or not low fertility is not a good thing anymore. so I was impressed to find two infertility stories right next to each other.
Just out, Use of Cell Phones reduces the number of your little buddies by a third. that's a lot of little buddies. plus the ones that do survive, are all jacked up and spastic, like their doing the African Anteater Dance at a high school prom. Something about how the phone sitting in your pocket while in standby mode.
Even more recently released, laptops are burning your buddies even faster - literally. this little bit of news has to do with how guys naturally sit - legs spread far apart. you know how girls always gripe about how much room guys take to sit down? now we have the perfect excuse. when a guy sits with his legs close together (a position that most laptop users take) this increases the scrote temp by like 2.1 degrees C but when a laptop is involved it goes up to like 2.6 on the left and 2.8 on the right.
I guess it's not a good idea to generate radio-active waves near your genitals after all. huh.
moral of this story: whenever you think you have the worst job in the world, think of the guy who has to measure scrote temperature.
right and left.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
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4 comments:
that ranks right up there with the guy who has to smell the arm pits of people who are test subjects for deodorant. ick.
that was... more than i wanted to know about men parts.
my brother always said mountain dew just shrunk it?
i dunno.
you're funny.
well said
According to PETA, eating meat also lowers the count
in response to the above noter: meat eaters rule! bring on the steak, rare. still moving if possible.
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