Saturday, April 02, 2005

johnny c's eu-lo-gee

(written on the 29th but blogger was down so in lieu of actual, recent comments...)
Where were you when the white bronco led LA's finest on a nationally viewed car chase?
I was at my high school girlfriend's house after football. I remember vividly the goose-egg I had on my leg from doing those horrible drills that high school coaches have wet dreams about. Someone had cut down a massive tree, probably during the civil war, and ever since then, teenage boys have bear crawled, hopped, shuffled, lunged and rolled over and around the prehistoric trunks. It was during a sideways bear-crawl that I smacked my shin on the log.
That my friends is a special feeling that I highly recommend. The very real sensation that your leg just broke into. A throbbing that overpowers your mental abilities and a temporary paralysis sets in below your knee because your nerves are overloaded and will not allow you to injure yourself further.
Within an hour, your calf fills up with fluid which later turns a beautiful gangrenous black and blue. This fluid provides a fun past time for all of your friends: pressing indentions into the fluid filled calf and watching it slowly fill back up.
So I sat there, in a little house near Lee High School watching OJ evade the cops and then weeks/months later came the dream team pulling out all the stops. Maybe Johnny's up in heaven now defending celebrities and trying to get them into heaven. "Didn't hear the story...get them out of purgatory." and "You control their up the pearly gates."

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