I just pulled up a letter from my uncle from 1996. it is now and has been very dear to me. Now it seems to be very prescient as well. He wrote to me, encouraging me to study God's Word and seek wisdom so that through God's guidance I would also recieve His blessing. He talked about asking God what I am supposed to do with my life and not pleasing other people. He shared with me heart felt things that only one man can share with another. I share these words that are the last paragraph of his letter:
"Not everyone is supposed to be a pastor, teacher, engineer or whatever. God knows that it takes all types of individuals to do his work. So if God moves you to be a minister, I believe you will be one of the best. However, keep your mind open to what God may have in store for you and don't worry if it is in another career than the ministry. If it is God's will, then wherever he puts you is where you can serve him best. Enjoy your weekend studying God's Word and may God richly bless you with wisdom. I'm very proud of you.
I remember reading this letter and it was so special to me that he had written it. I looked up to him. I remember also, thinking that he was so way off base. I remember looking down on him for the concessions he made in his letter, his revelation that he is just now learning to appreciate God's Word. worst of all, I remember that arrogant, prideful, self-righteous boy that read that letter, that wasted a wonderful opportunity showing off and being proud.
1 year later, I would be humbled. I would be broken. I would be given the greatest blessing that I could ever recieve.
Looking back on my life I always thought that the sin that I couldn't shake, my "but" statement, was lust. but as I examine myself with older, wiser eyes, it has been pride. in one form or another, it has always been pride.
I am smart. have always been. but until my pride is gone, I will never be wise.