Monday, August 22, 2005

write it out

I remember as a kid my family went up to see Uncle Richard in Dallas. Growing up, my family rarely went on vacations where tents weren't involved and Coleman stoves didn't heat our meals. But our Dallas visit was different. Uncle Richard had a huge, fancy house with a gigantaur pool. This was back when pools were the absolute end-all, be-all of childhood existence.
My sister and I played and swam and Uncle Richard morphed into "the monster of the deep" a dangerous being that would well up from the bottom of the pool, grab kids and fling them across the pool. Everything was very relaxed and easy going.
While on our visit, he even sprang for tickets for our whole family to go to Sesame Street Place (knock off on Disney Land only newer, smaller and Big Bird)
He was loved by the entire family and although he was my grandfather's brother he was as much a fixture as any immeadiate family.
Richard never married. he has always had the same friend for as long as I have known him. While there were definite "issues" between my grandfather and the questions revolving around my uncle's lifestyle, he has always been accepted and loved. that went equally for his friend as well, who would accompany him to family get togethers.
The intent of this post is not to bash or to make generalizations but it is to question and grieve.
Does the homosexual lifestyle generally lead to the type of isolation that my departed Uncle felt? The two instances that I have seen personally have been very similar. Individuals that are accepted and loved by their family but have chosen for one reason or another to separate themselves and live apart from a community of people who care for them. Is this symptomatic of the entire gay and lesbian community?
I would venture to say that a fair amount of people have no choice but instead have been cast out of family environments (or because of past encounters, envision family as hostility). Two other factors in this equation would be committed relationships and parenthood.
Before I get bashed over the head, I will admit to very little knowledge of the GLBT community. Looking to have a conversation here and wonder out loud a bit.


Matthew Popovits said...
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Matthew Popovits said...

This issue is close to my heart. Lots of friends struggling with this-even a family member or two. There are two places that need to be havens of safety for the outcast: the family and the church. Only problem is that we only want people who are outcast or dejected for universally unjust reasons. But when it comes to issues of sexuality we get confused and conflicted. How can we embrace some who embraces a lifestyle we disagree with? How can I touch a sinner without dealing with sin? Answer: Impossible. And the whole business of "love the sinner and hate the sin" is for the birds. Its not that clean. But its not meant to be. There is a give and take. We MUST make our homes, our churches places of refuge for all of the dejected--even if they are rightfully dejected for something of their own choosing. But then we MUST do the difficult work of speaking the truth. And yes, people will walk away, but some will stay, some will see that your love is real and your morality is grounded in the same love that brought them in, befriended them, and cares for their whole being. Just some random thoughts.

disgruntled world citizen said...

This a good question, sadly I don't think there is an easy answer. He sounds like a good man and a great uncle. Let his memory live in you.



paul said...

This paul down in Kyle...hey you called me last week as I was getting gas on my drive back from houston. My cell phone's display is jacked up so I have no way of contacting you - this is the only way I could think of. Call me again, dude, I want to talk to you.