Friday, May 20, 2005

who's important?

talking with a guy who is on the cusp of getting married and it never fails that no matter how independent a man is, when it comes down to popping the question, guys need advice. face it, marriage proposal is scarier than Jack Bauer with a frayed electric cord.

So we sat and talked over some Dos Equis.

He is more than ready to marry this girl. He knows she loves him and what's more he knows he loves her. No doubt in his mind that they are ready to make (and have made) sacrifices for each other. Financial stability not an issue at all and they are already sharing an apartment together.

His main concern is being able to give her a ring that is 3 months of his salary. Big Rock. Shiny Metal. Whole Shmear.

I know this guy and I know his heart and I understand that he wants to show his future bride how much he loves her and the ring is a big part of that for him. He wouldn't want for his bride-to-be to have anything to be embarassed of, instead have everything to be proud of when it comes to their relationship.

My advice to him: His commitment to her and vow in marriage is more important than the size and price of a ring. Let her be proud that you are proud to call her wife and that she can hold her head up in front of her parents, her church, her God. A woman's heart is not bent on gold and diamonds, those are a fallback position when they don't think their true treasure of love and respect can be obtained.
ladies, call me out if I'm wrong. fellas, pay attention.


GtotheMizzo said...

Sometimes it's more romantic to take that step and tell her, I can't wait to be engaged to you until I can buy a rock of Gibr-altar. I proposed without that so-called "girl's best friend", partly because a full-time student being able to afford an engagement ring is about as likely as Jack Bauer waiting for permission to use the frayed wires, and partly because I knew that my future wife was just as excited as I was to start our life together. I probably still couldn't get her much of a rock if I had it to do over again today, almost five years later. but those five years have taught me that I was right that night... a diamond isn't the only thing that's forever.

Nick said...

If a girl cares about the size of her diamond, dump her ass.