Wednesday, May 25, 2005

save for the wrath of K

I would not have anything to talk about...save for the wrath of K
I would not be posting anything...save for the wrath of K
I would be heading home right now...save for the wrath of K

two things before I do just that:
First, PHX-SA series is by far the best this year. The Spurs are being challenged and are responding like champions. those young bucks for Phoenix are coming at them and it makes for good inside-out basketball. The Spurs could definitely be playing better defense and the neighbors are tired of hearing me yell "PUT A HAND IN HIS FACE!!!". But it's been great games.
Final reason this series is better than Seattle and Denver: better looking fans... Dang those Seattle fans were ugly!

Second, I'm starting this 30 day test thing. Bear with me here... I wrote down my goal on one side of a 3 X 5 card. It reads "BE A GREAT FATHER AND HUSBAND". On the other side it reads "ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE, SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND, KNOCK AND THE DOOR SHALL BE OPEN TO YOU". I am going to spend the next 30 days focused on that goal and not allowing any negative thoughts to take over and kick me down. Hourly, I'm going to check myself to make sure that I am still on track and if I get off track, I'm going to start the 30 days over again. We'll see how it goes.
I know that the above verses are specifically speaking about Jesus being given to you when you seek him. But I think, as a Christian, this goal IS seeking more of Jesus. Seeking him to be more apart of my relationship with my wife and daughter.

2 comments:

disgruntled world citizen said...

my friend, you don't need to put yourself through such torture. first of all i have no wrath. well i do, but i won't direct it towards you. secondly, you are a good father and a good husband. why do you self-flagilate over something you don't have to? why are you testing yourself like this? remember what Christ said to Paul in 2 Corinthians "My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." if that's good enough for Paul, i'd say it should be good enough for you. so, instead of sitting in a corner looking at that paper and screwing your forehead in a bunch and saying "i must be a good father and husband... i must be a good father and husband..." pray "thank you god for making me a good father and husband, continue to lead me on the path you have chosen. let your light shine through me as i parent my child and be a husband to my mate." the Lord is with you Marone. he is. he's watching you. holding you. guiding you. and pushing you. you have the tools. you always have. don't let this need to prove yourself to yourself get in the way of what you have already proven. something else: God loves you just the way you are, why are you testing yourself like this? why open another door that Satan can use to bring you down (guilt/fear of failing)? go hug your wife and kid. let that be your proof of your love for them and for Christ.

i've said my peace.

Blessings to you and yours.

Karl

j said...

thanks brother,
i appreciate the encouragement and you're right that if i approached it from a "i suck and i have to do better" attitude then i would definitely be setting myself up for failure and opening up the door for the devil. for me it's not far off from exactly what you said taking refuge in God's grace while setting my thoughts and mind on things above, dwelling on all that is noble and right, holding every thought captive to the cross of Christ.
for me, a negative thought pattern has developed in kicking myself and putting myself down and not believing in God's ability to overcome my shortcomings. But I don't think those patterns just go away by themself, they need to be replaced with positive thoughts and positive patterns, a better way of saying that is godly thoughts and godly patterns. My goal is not "don't be such a sucky husband and father" rather it is believing that I am and can be a great one through Christ.
I don't think it's wrong to set goals and focus your mind on what's most important in this world.
I should have explained more of what my plan is and why i am doing it, i think i left too much up for interpretation and K, you hit the nail on the head. that is my normal M.O. and that's precisely why I want to stop letting the devil use my thoughts to inhibit me from enjoying my freedom in Christ.
thanks for your words - I see the brotherly love you were sharing in each of them and i was just teasing about the wrath of K, just a gig about the decree of daily posting