Two days had passed since we escaped the Swedish Seance and their propaganda winds up in our mailbox (well not really, it was actually at the post office because when we first moved in we needed a key to get into our blasted mailbox and because the "guy" who made the keys only worked on Thursdays and because it took him 1 week between recieving an order for the keys (on a Thursday) and making the key (on the next Thursday)...we put a hold on our mail and picked it up at the post office. then we got the key made and picked up our mail and told them to drop the hold, but they didn't kinda...sometimes yes, sometimes no. so we went for about 2-3 weeks only getting a letter here and there and finally i went up to black hole that is the Sugarland post office and we had an entire box full of mail) sitting right on top was our IKEALOG.
no big deal you say... except we never spoke with anyone, and didn't buy anything. best i can figure out, when we used the restroom, they collected a "sample" and ran DNA tests on it tracked it through interpol and found our supposedly safe house.
If any of you guys tick me off, I'm going to give your info to IKEA. and I'll do it too. don't test me on this. you'll be buried under a pile of laminate and swedish instructions.