Wednesday, September 07, 2005

rumination

something strange has been taking place in the Maroney household as of late: I have actually been doing some thinking.
Living here in Houston, puts us in the Katrina aftermath. Not as victims but as either participants or rubbernecks. A train wreck of humanity just exploded on Houston's doorstep and people have to decide how they are going to react to it. Similarly, in San Antonio and Baton Rouge and multiple other sites to a degree.
Let it be said that New Orleans and even Louisiana has allowed itself to be a cesspool of sin, poverty and corruption for generations. That it has now become a virtual cesspool is a sad irony. New Orleans should by all reason and intellect be the trade and oil capitol of the United States but it's hand-out mentality (one hand for a bribe the other for welfare) has closed the door to this possibility. Now these victims of New Orleans and survivors of Katrina are here.
I am ashamed to say that I have watched as Houston has thrown open the flood gates of compassion to these poor families. Donating food, money and clothes. Volunteering to work the night shift at the dome or Reliant Center because they work 8 to 5 at their real job. And I have watched.
My parents are part of Concordia's effort in San Antonio. In fact, they both went down to help out in person. My dad unloading donations and handing them out and my mom as a ad-hoc grief counselor.
Alicia and I have talked about ways that we can help and we want to help a single mom get back on her feet with housing and finding a job. will update as this gets underway.

the other issue that is pressing home for me is a longing to be serving full time in ministry. Granted, there is a lot about my job that I simply hate. Granted, it is a daily struggle, one that I am not sure I will win. But beneath all of that and stronger is the desire to put all of this effort, energy and 70 hours a week into something that matters, something that makes a difference in people's lives. not just trying to make a buck, get the sale and move on. I do not and will not approach my job in a way that sees only what's in it for me. But beyond doing my job with morals and looking after their financial needs, I want to look after people's spiritual needs.
These are my thoughts as of late. the more I think and the more I pray, the stronger they get. In many ways, I feel like I have found one piece of a puzzle and am groping around for more pieces, not sure if there are any more pieces.

1 comment:

disgruntled world citizen said...

that is a struggle, you know i had that struggle for a long time. it was painful and exhausting, but i think i am where the Lord wants me to be, at least for the time being. its not what you want, its what He wants for you. if its to serve him in some capacity in full-time ministry, it will happen, whether you like it or not. pray and talk to those in ministry already let them know what you're thinking. when i was stuggling (mightily) with the whole ministry thing the Lord seemed to give me all kinds of ministers to talk to. i didn't realize what had happened until later, but through them i figured out somethings. don't let this become a burden, though. take care.