Monday, March 28, 2005

Psy-Ops

Alicia just got home from the Nail-Salon-Spa-Whatever and asks me "Do you like the new color of my nails?" Inside my head I'm saying "New color? what was the old color? Were they colored at all?" Ultimately, I'm thinking "WHO CARES?!?!"

HOWEVER - I've been through this routine before so I: #1. look at the nails #2. Say: Yeah, that looks good.
*note a simple uhuh or approval grunt does not suffice here.

At this point, I am home free. Keep making my sandwich and shove it in my mouth and I'm sitting pretty. BUT I remember times when I have said that I like something (food, hair-do, etc) and then it becomes a standard fixture...SO I say "The red does look good but I think I like the pink you wear better"

I wait and watch and she doesn't get sad, dissappointed or mad...My brain is going "hey I didn't get in trouble" THEN it hit me I'M TRAINED LIKE A CIRCUS MONKEY!!!

She knows I don't care about her nails. I know I don't care about her nails. But somewhere in hte deep recesses of my brain she has triggered an interest in the shades and tones of her fingernails and what's more I make a comment that feeds into this farce and when she doesn't react negatively...I think I'm getting away with something!!!!

Either I'm turning into a woman, or women should be enlisted in the military for Psychological Warfare. They can manipulate and train any Y chromosome bearing person into doing just about anything. How else do you explain: deck shoes, man bags, pink shirts, underwear and peeing indoors.

4 comments:

disgruntled world citizen said...

ever see that kit-kat commercial where they guy is eating his kit kat and his wife asks him if the pants she is wearing make her look fat? makes me laugh ever'time i see it.

you may very well be a trained monkey. aren't we all? according darwin we are, kind of. lol

Joe said...

I say we start asking them questions like that. Say, "Don't you think this new drill bit is better than the last one honey?" or "What do you think about the last four seasons for the Cowboys?" etc.

Josh said...

Flee the pink shirt... fly far, far away from here. Out into the blue clear sky.

GtotheMizzo said...

Of course I can't pretend that your wife is the only female with this unique talent - i.e., manipulation - but I must say I've thought more than once recently that she is uniquely adept in this area. Case in point: these very words. She made the casual suggestion during a recent visit that I explore the blogging phenomenon, and here I am. She has also hooked me on author Morgan Llywelyn, inspired me to pursue teaching, made me want a Ford Explorer, and even prompted serious thought about a move to Sugarland. Granted, these are all good ideas that I might have come to on my own, but how else do you explain the "time release" effect? She mentions it, and several days later I begin to think I've just had a great idea. scary I tell you. stay sharp my friend, or you may find yourself peeing sitting down.